family

A Mother’s Day Reflection

(May 2021) I wrote this blog a year ago but realized I never posted it probably because the Pandemic was just taking hold and I wasn’t feeling it with the uncertainty of everything. So here we are a year later and still dealing with the virus but things are looking optimistic. Here is a look back.

(May 2020) This Mother’s Day is a little bit sweeter. I was blessed with a new granddaughter this week, Isabelle Rose. She is number five but the feeling is still just as special.

Isabelle Rose 2020

(We just celebrated Izzy’s first birthday this past weekend!)

Some might consider Mother’s Day to be a Hallmark day where you are encouraged by commercials and society to spoil your mother with a five dollar card, buy her gifts, take her to lunch or make her a meal, make the phone call. Don’t get me wrong, these are all really great and VERY much appreciated. However, equally important is to take the time to acknowledge to yourself what your mom means to you and what they have done for you as well.

As many of you know, I lost my mom to Alzheimer’s over fifteen years ago. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about her. I sometimes think about how nice it would be to call her up, maybe even Facetime her and share the news of a new granddaughter with her. If you want to read about my mom and the gifts from her, you can read the blog Mothers and Gifts.

In this blog I want to talk about my mother-in-law and the “gift” my mom gave me. Mothers-in laws often get a bad rap due in part to the stereotype about the relationship issues sometimes between a wife and her husband’s mom. I can say with honesty that my relationship with my mother-in-law did not always feel comfortable and easy. I remember way back when my mom was still alive, telling her about something that bothered me and instead of getting support from her and siding with me, in mom’s true fashion, she “told me like it was”.

She said, prophetically, ‘to be careful and accepting of your mother-in-law’. That she wished she had a mother-in-law (my dad’s mom) that she could have a relationship with (she had passed early in their marriage). It now feels like she was saying, ‘one day she will be all you have’. I won’t be here forever. Sorry….got deep there.

Janice, me & mom

She was right of course. The wisdom of moms are far reaching and comes back to visit you in most unexpected ways. That comment that my mom made irked me at the time, mostly because I thought I would have her support and someone to vent to. But what she gave me was so much more. It was really a turning point in my relationship with my mother-in-law. It wasn’t that long after that mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and I would come to grow closer to my mother-in-law. Though she could never take the place of my mom, she is a special lady whom I respect and love.

We share a love of crochet and am in awe of her generosity in gifting her creations. She has made hundreds of crochet afghans for high school graduates, one for each of her grandchildren, one for each of her great grandchildren, and many others for those ask. We also share her son. And that is pretty special.

Janice, me and my girls at my son Scott’s wedding

So happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful moms, mother-in-laws, stepmoms, Godmothers, and grandmothers. We love you, appreciate you and miss you.

Denise